Sunday, July 22, 2007


Saturday was my release date from the hospital, which was somewhat of a scary reality for me. Part of me wanted to stay there forever, it was so safe and cozy. The staff was beyond wonderful, helpful, and amazing. Since being home I've found the same in my lovely Kelly. I continue to refall in love with this man for his ability to be the most wonderful partner in this chaotic and surreal journey. My first night home I was overwhelmed with feelings of being useless and scared things would never feel 'normal' again. Restrictions set on me by my doctor to not lift anything greater than 10 lbs., go on a walk, clean my house, water my flowers and other everyday activities became so unbearable that I just wept. Then the thought that I was even feeling such emotions made me cry more. That's when Kelly steps in and reminds me of what we just went through. He reminds me how intense these past 5 days were and to just 'slow down'. He reminds me that we have this new little miracle home with us to focus on and that is my job, he will take care of the rest. It all seems like too much sometimes, how can he possibly do this all on his own? Somehow he feeds me, cleans up after me and Brinnon, changes EVERY diaper, reminds me to take my pain meds, does the laundry, dishes and keeps the house going without muttering a word about any of it. It is moments like these that I remember I have the best partner alive and Brinnon and I are two lucky ladies. We both thank you, Daddy, with all of our hearts!


See Lil Run said...

That blog entry made me cry. I love my brother with all my heart. Seeing him with you and Brinnon has been amazing to watch. He has been in my life for 31 yrs and this the most inspired and passionate I have ever seen him. You did an amazing job, relax, you will be back on your feet in no time -- especially since our amazing super Brinnon is going to crawl by 1 month and walk by 3 :). You will both be incredible parents and I am so proud an aunt.

amanda jane said...

it made me cry too!! oh court, i remember those feelings so well, and i know everyone tells you this, but it is goes by soooo fast! and before you know it you'll have a huge 20 pound kid on your hands an you'll wonder what happened to your little baby. i remember that as soon as avery would fall asleep i would be out in my garden immediately. i spent a lot of time DOING things. I guess somehow it made me feel "normal" again, but i also wish i had cherished those first few weeks, even months more. lay with her, watch her sleep, listen to her breath, just rest. the rest of the chaotic world you speak of can wait. you'll NEVER have these days back. so, that's all i'm going to say about that. and as for your lovely partner, it is so great to feel these things and know you are in this together, isn't it? this is such an exciting time and i hope we can see you three real soon. Oh, and about the g diapers, we have 8 covers and I don't know how you're managing on 2! but more power to you (mostly kel who is doing most of that). but i would recommend a few more.

amanda jane said...

p.s. we will have the medium covers for you to borrow if you'd like. Avery is approaching the LARGE size very, very quickly. so, they are blue, green, red and orange (we didn't get any of the cute purple and pink ones :(. I believe we have 8-10 covers. We sold the smalls on craig's list, you could check there too. good luck mama and papa!